I Hate Leaders (Follow Me)

It takes a special brand of ruthlessness to become a leader. A certain reckless egotism - and a disregard for the natural balance of the world in which most liberal-minded forces tend towards a kind of sublime chaos wherein everyone follows the herd and leaders are interchangeable from migration to migration - a certain je ne c'est quoi - an unyielding confidence that your precious-ivory horns will always be bigger and sharper than, not only the guy's you deposed (read: impaled), but the next guy who comes along to depose you.

Now we just need to push your nomination through the House, Mr. Humphrey.

Never was there a leader who attained his or her position by being honest, selfless, a straight-shooter (cowboys excluded). At least not one who wasn't promptly assassinated by a much more literal straight-shooter. Woe to those who have demonstrated unambiguous conviction in truth, liberty, justice and other such sentimental nonsense. To be a modern-day leader one must be bad-assed, hard-hustlin', unforgiving, often irascible and always a dickhead:

Can you spot the Fag Hag?

Our leaders aren't what they used to be. Truth be told they never were. But in the old days, at least, we idealized our leaders and gave over to them our faith and freedom willingly. Even when they were bad guys, we followed them into battle for a cause, an ideal, or some other righteous bullshit like that, in the hopes that they would deliver the goods. Hell, Napoleon was a jerk-off and a dwarf but he was serving up countries left and right like delicious southern-style flapjacks. When he said to his generals "I'm taking over the world, bitches," they knew he wanted it not for some pompous, made-up war on terror, but because he was a greedy little bastard. And so were they, and that was OK.

All I ever wanted was more land to plant my petunias.

Pretty much no-nonsense stuff, right? "I want all the land from Anglo-America to the South Pacific. You lot get dibs on all the lobsters you can eat. Sound good? Great!" But today's leaders are way more sinister and shifty. They snake their way in to power not with great deeds but via wheel-greasings and bum-pattings and other processes the technical terms for which I cannot just now recall. Matter of fact, politics seems to work much the same way as Pop music. In a way, the people of today's world have done themselves a disservice by legitimizing the leader-making process. It reeks of self-deception. All we can hope for now is a more benevolent dictatorship:

Absolute power, or whatever.

Back in the day a leader had to provide for his people in a very real way. Such as ensuring protection from barbarian hordes and throwing down spectacular festivals of blood and booze (I guess they didn't have video games yet). And the people, in turn, had certain obligations to the king. A duty to till the land and harvest the food; help wage war against barbarian hordes, etc. The king usually had to keep his people safe and contented because, divine right or no, there was always a danger that the serfs would storm the walls or his own advisers and other influential bros would get dollar signs in their eyes and off him. Best of all: there was never a need for any kind of long, boring impeachment process.

I, for one, would like to see a resurgence of an earlier system. There is something to be said for kings and their feudal ways. It wasn't always fun and games but, for the most part, it worked. Society actually advanced and one horseshoe at a time the world grew. When someone was made The Man of this or that county with a Yorkship or Governorship it usually resulted in change and progress.

I will civilize this land henceforth to be known as: Bitchofshofen!

Now, when the king gave his uncle-in-law a piece of land that bro may or may not have done anything to deserve it - and that is nothing new...but it did signify that something would have to be done. At the very least, the bro would have to build a bigger, more impressive castle than the one that was there before. And that meant jobs! Sometimes the previous castle was razed to the ground and that meant starting from scratch. There you have it again: jobs!

So more often than not, he had to build his new castle on that land, and around that castle a new township, and around that township ramparts and other high walls to keep out the Jews. Eventually those walls would fall and a new bro would rebuild and out-cock the previous bro by building a bigger castle, and for that castle, a bigger township and bigger walls. And onward in that manner, bigger and bigger, until eventually someone would let the Jews in and the population would explode like acne on a crackhead's face and then you have yourself the beginnings of a real city. Progress, civilization. It's a wonderful thing.

Now, what was the point of all this? Oh yes:
Don't be a leader. Take a stand against supreme authority everywhere and just say "No!" And don't be sheep to the slaughter. Carve out your own pointless, directionless destiny.

So I just snap the neck...like so?

So I ask you: won't you follow me? Just navigate over to the the top-right-hand side of this very page to find the tab labeled "Followers" and click on "Join this Site." By following me you are taking that first step towards interdependence. And I make this promise to you, my dear reader, I will in not attempt to influence, educate or lead you in any way, ever! Be great: follow me now!